How to Overcome Your Lack of Self-belief – My 6 Step Process

It’s almost mid-way through the year, are you still sitting pretty, going through the daily grind, daydreaming about those lofty ideas that are unlikely to ever happen? Maybe, it’s time to get moving. Let’s explore how you can do that.

As I write this piece today, I am waiting with excitement like a little kid heading to one of the Disney parks.  I am off to watch the Avengers Endgame movie. I am an addicted Marvel fan. Stan Lee is one of my idolised heros and a good example, I can use to illustrate the power of  self-belief, read on to find out why.

I believe everyone has a dream, and this dream has 3 components,

1. To BE someone of value.
2. To add value from what we DO.
3. To HAVE value returned from where we chose to invest our life (time),  and consequently find happiness and fulfillment.

If you could summarise in one word what feeling will empower you to achieve all three, I am sure that word would be “freedom”.  The pursuit of wealth, health, knowledge and strength, are all geared at the feeling of having the freedom to choose who we want to BE, what we want to DO and how much we want to HAVE.

What keeps most people stuck?

In my experience, your current reality and past are holding you ransom, and you want to be free, but can’t seem to see how that will happen. Your dreams seem to look like fantasies because of where you are right now, but most importantly who you are, real or imagined.

This was the case for me 15 years ago, I never really saw myself in full time employment.  My dream has always being to create something that gives value to others, and to have the freedom and autonomy to do so my way.  I tried for years to make it happen, but kept stepping back into comfort, and safety, because I looked at what I had, who I was and everyone else around me and thought, no-way!.  They say that “everything has a price”’ and this is true, we can either choose the price of trying or not trying. I look back at those years and know that the price of not trying has been heavy.  I am reversing it now, I am an entrepreneur, but, most importantly, doing the first thing I have always wanted to do and that is, add value to others and show them how to pay the right price to bring their own dreams to life.

Now back to Stan Lee, you see the Marvel Universe does not exist, never has and never will, but no one could convince Stan Lee of that.  He could disappear into a different world by bringing it to life. He found partners who shared the same view and did the same. Today! millions share the same view, and it has made him and others who dared to bring fantasy into reality, millions too. In fact, when you watch the film, you believe the avengers live among us in this alternate unique universe.

If you are thinking of starting on that entrepreneur journey or have started but are now stuck thinking, this is unlikely to work.  Let me help you explore ways of getting unstuck.

Most people begin their entrepreneur journey very excited to be free of the 9-5 and jump straight in, however it is important to have these 6 steps nailed firmly down as the foundations for getting started, and also maintaining self-belief.

1. Your Why, What, and How

Get really clear about your why!, what and how! take time out to brainstorm, and write down these four key things:

1. The Vision – Why you are undertaking this journey and what do you see the Business becoming?
2. The Mission – What do you hope to accomplish?
3. The Strategy – How do you intend to go about the Vision and the Mission.
4. Your Goals – This helps you devise the blueprint and map of how to get where you want to go.

2.  Your Strengths

There’s no need starting something and then realising you can’t get on and do it.  You need to figure out whether you are venturing into something that plays to your strengths.  We all have strengths, we can choose to either discover and use them, or leave them dormant. Lack of self belief is characterised by focusing on weakness, which then results in staying stuck.  If you are going to overcome lack of self-belief, you have to find out about your strengths and match it to your desires. I get my clients to take a DISC Personality Profile assessment, and this helps them create an action plan.  The assessment results and action plan, will ensure they are more likely to get quicker results, gain self-belief and momentum,

3. Your Growth

Reality is created through awareness and corresponding action.  To change reality requires a journey of growth and corresponding changes to your thinking. Changes to thinking, start by first unravelling limiting beliefs. It is only then, you can begin to accomplish the dream life or business that you desire.  Goal setting is about how to bring your “why’‘ to life, but goal achieving is about how to grow into your “why” i.e. from goals to growth. You leverage your strengths to take action, but through growth, you also add to and enhance your strength to achieve peak performance. When you enhance your abilities through intentional growth, you can do, be and have more.

4. Finding Courage

Courage results in action and action cures lack of self-belief. You have to bring the dream to life, by taking leaps of faith every step of the way, until others can also see it clearly, believe it and then receive it as a reality.   Success pathways are created one step at a time. Imagine where we will be today, if the inventors of the Aeroplane, Ships, Cars etc. allowed their dreams to die. Nobody around could see the vision to bring it to life, perhaps that would have meant these things may never have been brought to life.

Here’s a food for thought, “everything you see around you existed twice”, first in the mind of its creator, then in reality.  You are a causative being, that means you are able to set in motion the law of cause and effect. So! make a change to set in motion the effect of changing reality, by finding courage to take action.

5. Finding Common Ground

The people around you may never be convinced about the viability of your dream, sad but true.  Many who have made their dreams a reality, have had to set-off away from their current environment to find common ground with others on the same journey.  If you are going to continue to fuel the flame until you see the results, you need to stay close to the fire. As it is said, “we are the sum total of the 5 people we spend our time with”,  so make sure to find the right community and required help, to achieve what you desire.

6. Unravel Your Limiting Beliefs

As I have mentioned throughout this piece of writing, limiting beliefs are the main saboteurs to achieving whatever we desire in life. Limiting beliefs are hidden in your subconscious and serve as the compass, directing your life.  Limiting beliefs are created from as early as 4 years old. Formed from negative conditioning by those with influence in our lives, and the environment we grew up in. Your beliefs good or bad become your truth and the filter through which you see and  shape your reality.

A trained ear like that of a Coach will help you unravel beliefs that hold you back and sabotage you.   It is said “the sky is not the limit; our belief system is”. The truth is, most people spend years going in circles until they get stuck, that’s when they seek-out a Coach to understand why!. The good practice is to find help from the beginning and quash any limiting beliefs and self-sabotaging behaviours.  It is true that “unless we make the subconscious conscious, it continues to control our lives and we call it fate”.

I love to see the relief and joy on my clients faces when they uncover their limiting beliefs, and I help them develop strategies to move forward.  One tip I can give you, is to listen to your language, where there is a “can’t” in the sentence, there is likely to be some limiting beliefs hidden and controlling your outcomes.

Finally, I will leave you with a quote by Nelson Mandela, “It always seems impossible, until it’s done”.

Believe in yourself, go out there and be awesome

Get in touch with me HERE to find out how I can help you achieve your goals, by unravelling your True-Self

P.S

I am off to watch Avengers End Game. Catch you later in my next post

First published on www.patienceogunbona.com on 21st May 2019.

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