It’s International Friendship Day.
Building Strong relationships is essential for personal and professional growth, emotional well-being, and business success, but as an introvert, this process can present unique challenges.
There are two things that Introverts are known for: The desire to build deep and meaningful lasting relationships, and the desire to still maintain solitude and alone time.
Introverts often thrive in solitary environments and may find drawn-out social interactions draining. Many introverts also prefer working alone as it means uninterrupted thinking time without the pressure to engage in stimulus that drains their energy.
However, this doesn’t mean that introverts are unable to spend time socialising and connecting long enough to lead to deep and meaningful connections with others. In fact, embracing their introverted nature can lead to authentic and long-lasting relationships.
In this newsletter, I will explore the specific challenges introverts might encounter in relationship-building, especially female introverts and I’ll provide valuable strategies and tips to help introverts navigate the path toward healthy and strong connections with others.
Are Relationships Harder for Introverts?
The answer to this is not that clear-cut. It’s a common misconception that relationships are inherently harder for introverts. Even introverts themselves can believe this to be true for them because of the difference in approach to cultivating successful relationships in comparison to their extroverted counterparts.
Those that seem friendly are outgoing, party-loving, and loud. Most introverts don’t identify with these qualities. However, it is interesting to note that being outgoing does not always equate to trustworthy or lasting relationships. Introverts have the capacity to take the time to nurture the relationships that matter most, even if this may feel boring.
Their ability to listen attentively, empathise deeply, and think before speaking can be invaluable in creating a strong emotional bond with others.
Networking Versus Friendship
Women love to converge, natter, and chat, sometimes these conversations lead to lasting connections and friendships sometimes they don’t.
In many cases, you can come out of those spaces feeling even more alone because you failed to make the right connections.
The reason why many introverts hate networking is that networking is designed for self-promotion to build up your social capital (that is the value that you give and receive). There are instances where this self-promotion can lead to connections but you have to stay in the game and play the game until you find the right match.
Love at first sight, encounter, and message requires carefully crafted images and speeches.
Since introverts don’t really like self-promotion or are not great at shouting out those attractive qualities, networking gets laborious and painful.
Specifically, with women the fear of cattiness and gossip can cause further withdrawal if you don’t belong to the gossip gang where you offer your own two-pence opinion on someone’s style or look, so you may not be fun to be around.
How do you handle this?
There is a true saying:
“everything boils down to mindset”.
Recognise the type of relationship that you want to build and the right space to build it.
Two types of relationships to consider are Transactional and Emotional (Relational) Relationships.
In networking environments, you are more likely to be going after Transactional Relationships.
It also seems that men thrive more in transactional relationship environments than women. You may have heard that many business deals are created on the Golf course. Hence you will see many powerful businessmen have learned to play golf. I have heard that the new way to do business deals is on Sailing trips.
Transactional Relationships are started and built on the expectation of reciprocity. Transactional relationships are primarily focused on specific exchanges or transactions. The interactions revolve around meeting immediate needs, achieving specific goals, and gaining some form of advantage. These relationships tend to be formal and business-oriented, with less focus on emotional connections.
Emotional (Relational) Relationships, on the other hand, are focused on building healthy connections. They are focused on deeper personal and emotional connections based on trust. They involve a greater level of empathy, understanding, and support. Emotional relationships aim to create long-term connections and mutual well-being.
Introverts are known to value deep emotional connections and are also characterised by high sensitivity and empathy. Based on these definitions, it is easy to see an introvert’s preferred type of relationship would be emotional.
The key shift for introverts is to realise that you need both types of relationships to thrive in life and business. Understand when you need either a transactional relationship or an emotional relationship and set expectations to tailor your approach accordingly.
To further enhance your potential for relationship success as an introvert, you can adopt certain strategies:
- Embrace Vulnerability and Trust
Building trust is vital in any relationship, and for introverts, this often involves embracing vulnerability. I created a valuable video on developing trust and vulnerability as an introvert, which can be found HERE
This insightful video offers techniques and practical advice to help introverts open up to others and foster the right kind of relationships that lead to deeper connections.
2. Effective Communication
Each relationship type requires a different approach to communication. In transactional relationships, you are professional, concise, direct, and goal-oriented. I tell my clients;
keep your eyes on the goal and dribble toward it
This is not easy when your default way of being is to seek emotional connections but remember, communication is an art and skill that can be learned.
It all starts with observation of the rules of the game and active listening, then tailoring your approach accordingly.
Find a balance to express your thoughts and feelings openly. Utilising “I” statements can help introverts express their emotions and needs in a non-confrontational and assertive manner.
4. Navigating Social Situations by Building Rapport
Introverts might feel uncomfortable in social situations, especially when meeting new people. However, these situations also present opportunities for growth and connection.
Rapport is built when you can find common ground and interests.
There is a tendency to get lost in a crowd, hence you find in a bid for publicity, introverts join big groups. However, they stay silent and feel lost.
Seek out smaller, intimate gatherings where you can form deeper connections and build relationships.
Remember that boundaries should not equate to barriers. Know that as an introvert self-care to handle energy drain from stimulus is critical for you to help bring the right vibe into relationships.
Let this be a big criteria in deciding how you navigate social situations, but realise that you can build capacity over time to increase your comfort zone and reduce the impact of overstimulation.
Also, feeling like an equal in a relationship whether it be transactional or emotional is vital. You will have instances where opportunities present themselves to lead. Don’t shy away from it. You can learn more about developing the courage to lead by watching the video I created HERE
5. Handling Conflicts and Disagreements through Feedback
Conflict is a natural part of any relationship, but introverts may prefer to avoid it altogether. However, learning constructive ways to address conflicts and disagreements is crucial for maintaining healthy relationships. One way to handle conflicts and disagreements promptly and effectively is to be open to receiving and giving feedback.
Be receptive to feedback, act upon it, and be quick to move on. Emotional management and intelligence are powerful skills that can be learned.
One thing I do that helps me to address conflict and miscommunication is to reach out first and organise a face-to-face meeting over a drink, and have a sit down with pen and paper to discuss things.
If the other party is not open to this, then you can try writing, if this does not work, leave things be and believe that a relationship that is meant to be will work its way back round to you.
6. Finding and Utilising the Right Online Communities.
Introverts often thrive in online spaces where they can connect with others while still having control over their interactions. Engaging in online communities centered around shared interests allows introverts to build relationships at their own pace.
Communities can be designed to foster Transactional or Relational relationships or be a hybrid of both.
Specifically for the Introverted Female Entrepreneur, you are better off in communities that are hybrid. Within these communities, you can learn valuable introvert-friendly strategies to attract dream clients, whilst still maintaining connection to your introvert needs. This makes it more sustainable to build long-term connections.
I have created a video resource that offers practical tips and insights for introverts in business who want to connect with their ideal clients authentically. You can access it HERE
Conclusion
Being an introvert doesn’t hinder the possibility of forming strong relationships; it simply means approaching them differently.
By embracing vulnerability, communicating effectively, and honouring your needs for solitude, you can build deep and authentic connections with others.
Remember, building relationships is a journey, and introverts have unique gifts to offer along the way.
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Be abundance-minded and share this monthly newsletter with others.
Happy International Friendship Day, I Hope You Have Some Great Relationships, and May Your Life Be Full of Love.
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